It’s My Birthday! My New Norm

Celebrating my birthday this year is truly different. Anyone that knows me knows I typically am somewhere on an island for my birthday and screaming to the top of my lungs it’s a real Gemini’s birthday for the whole month! Now don’t get me wrong, last year was very low key and the highlight was finally being able to go shopping at HomeGoods and celebrating staying Covid free. However, this year is different. It’s the first year without my dad texting me Happy Birthday or calling to talk throughout the day to get a play by play of what we were up to! It’s been 7 months since my dad passed and I last talked to him. I remember someone telling me the death of a parent never gets easier, just more bearable. That is so true as I navigate life without him. Milestones like birthdays and holidays without him are definitely tough but then I hear his voice laughing and joking about something and it gets a little bit more bearable.

As I look at my Facebook Memories, I have to smile at my post 11 years ago about the first time he sent me a “Happy Birthday” text when he first got his cell phone and called himself texting. It was just a simple “Happy Birthday” and nothing else. He didn’t call me or say anything else that day because he was still new to using his cell phone but according to my memories he made up for it the following year and sent me a deep text and called me. I wish I still had that text but I have a memory bank full of laughs, conversations, and good times to last me a lifetime. So today as I celebrate another year of life, I also celebrate God giving me the best Dad a girl could wish for 42 years ago! I won’t be sad today and I am going to get up and celebrate like he would be expecting me to because by now he would be calling to tell me Happy Birthday and joking about me taking the day off when I am working from home! 

If you have lost a parent recently, I encourage you to try to remember the good memories you had. As much as I thought Facebook was so creepy for showing your memories of people you no longer talk to, I now cherish these reminders of my dad from his comments on my post to my post about him pre-Facebook days. (Yes he finally made his way to Facebook about 4 years ago and boy did he not like us calling him out on there. I can still hear him getting on me for saying he didn’t want to stay out of those stores during the thick of the pandemic last year lol). I also encourage you to allow yourself time to grieve. It has been 7 months but I still have not fully grieved my dad. However, I do allow myself to let my tears come when it hits me. My last bit of encouragement is to find someone to talk to (a professional, close friend, or family member) get it out of your system by talking about your loss! I hope sharing how I am celebrating my first birthday without my dad helps someone get through a milestone without a love one. If you have recently lost a parent let me know how you are handling getting through these milestones.